TOUGH LOVE

Greetings, music-dudes & music-dudettes! From my experience as an educator, I’ve come to understand that some people simply respond better to a more “hardline” approach when it comes to whipping their self-confidence into shape. So, for any readers who may have been hoping for something comparable from me, I offer you this drill-sergeant approach to beating performer’s anxiety and stage-jitters. Enjoy!


All right! So, you’re afraid to go up there, are you? Afraid of those big, mean audience members? Afraid they might boo or yawn at you?

Aw, ain’t that too bad! Did it ever occur to you that maybe they have every right to boo? If your music is so poorly prepared that booing is the only appropriate response, maybe your audience isn’t being mean at all. Maybe they’re being honest. Maybe booing is their way of saying that you should have practiced more, instead of watching “Seinfeld” reruns or cruising the mall.

Maybe they feel you should have cared a little more about your music. And them.

But, hey, if you are prepared, you have absolutely nothing to be afraid of! Audiences don’t walk out on or shun musicians who are well-prepared.

Quit whining about how tough it is to go out there and play in front of a few fellow human beings. You’re not storming the beaches at Normandy. You’re not undergoing open-heart surgery. You’re playing music, that’s all. Your life is not on the line. Even if your last performance did turn out to be the worst thing since that all redhead punk group you saw at your school talent show last spring, whoopee. Feel bad for a day and do a better job next time.

In any case, stop being such a wimp! You have a job to do? Then you go out there and do your job. You have an audience that wants to hear some tunes? Start thinking of them instead of your own fears and anxieties.

Stop thinking of yourself!

Okay, fine, you’re a performer. And performers are prone to being just a tad self-absorbed. Save it for Grammy night. As for right now, you craft that music the best you can, be a big boy or girl, and just go out there and share it with your audience. They come first. They deserve to hear you play, and not to have to watch you drowning in your own sweat or shuddering like a misaligned front wheel.

You owe them your best. Give it to them.

And when you’re done thinking about your audience, think about the others who deserve your attention more than yourself:

1. Your fellow musicians. They worked hard, too. They deserve to have you deliver the goods with them. Don’t you dare make them look bad. Be ready.

2. Your music. Think about it a lot. Get into it. Never mind your miserable stage fright.

3. Your family. Did they have to put up with listening to you rehearse the same tunes for weeks on end? If so, you owe them, pal. Big time. Think of them for a change.

4. Me. That’s right. The guy who wrote this article for you and who feels pretty darned out-of-character doing it. You owe me by getting your act together pronto.

You get what I’m saying here? You get your mind off yourself or your jitters and onto your music. You craft it to the 110% best of your ability. You shake off those self-manufactured shakes, go out there the big person, and do your job. That’s the bottom line. Do - your - job. That’s all you need to think about.

Frankly, you don’t have time to be thinking about the possibility of a few un-earth-shattering slip-ups or how awful you might feel afterwards. That’s trivia.

Music. Audience. That’s where you direct your thoughts. Your music, your audience. They matter immensely, a whole lot more than your own worries, woes, shivers, shakes, quivers, and quakes.

That is all. You’re dismissed. Now go practice!

"When you are tough on yourself, life is going to be infinitely easier on you."

Zig Ziglar