There are two things you can say about criticism: 1.) It hurts. 2.) It happens — it’s part of life. True, you can’t stop criticism from happening. But you most certainly can stop it from hurting. Read on and learn how.
Why is it that when someone criticizes or rejects our music it hits us so hard? Hearing someone say “I don’t like the song you wrote” or “You guys aren’t that good” hurts more deeply than, say, if a business executive criticizes a subordinate for writing a bad report. That’s understandable. Musicians, along with other artists, tend to be more intimately connected with our craft than any office worker I’ve ever met. When someone criticizes our music they’re not only finding fault with our work but our passion as well, our life. Music isn’t simply what we do, it is who we are. Many of us have spent nearly our entire lives in music. We have so much of ourselves invested in our craft it’s no wonder even well-intentioned criticism from our peers hurts so much.
I will not brush this issue aside by simply telling you to “toughen up,” or that “criticism is something we all must face, so you might as well get used to it.” Somehow those words don’t seem to help. I know a few colleagues who, in the spirit of being “tough,” will wear a mask of nonchalance when someone puts them down. And all the while the stinging words eat them up on the inside instead of the outside. That’s even worse.
What does help is to remind ourselves that music is one of those things that, when someone says they don’t like how or what we’re playing, are really saying they don’t have a taste for it. It’s like if I told you I don’t like the pepperoni pizza you made, it’s probably because I don’t like pepperoni pizza, period. I’m rejecting the pepperoni, not your talent as a cook, and certainly not your worth as a human being.
Everybody likes something different on their pizza!
And everybody likes something different in their music. Before feeling scathed by someone’s attack on your music remember this: There are millions of people who don’t like The Beatles, millions more who think Beethoven is boring, and even more who have absolutely no use for John Coltrane. Think about that. Three of the most renowned names in music, ignored, criticized, even condemned by millions and millions of people. As with the greats, there are simply going to be people who don’t have a taste for your music either. The same goes for every single musician on the face of the earth.
If an artist has a gold record in the U.S. (500,000 copies sold) it means that fewer than one person in six hundred cared enough about that artist’s music to actually buy it. Fewer than one in six hundred. Even a platinum album (1 million copies sold) equals less than one out of three hundred people buying it — and that’s in the U.S. alone! Keep that in mind the next time someone rejects the fruits of your talent.
Speaking of The Beatles, I once had a teacher, a jazz pianist, who referred to the legendary group as “four guys with no talent and a lot of luck.” Now there’s criticism! The man is entitled to his opinion, but I have a feeling his comment was more the result of an overall preference for jazz over rock (and maybe just a hint of jealousy). Perhaps “The Fab Four” was simply not his cup of tea.
Finally, it may help to remember that unsolicited criticism of others is borne of one’s insecurities (except if it comes from your teacher!). Remember that the next time you find yourself on the receiving end, or the giving end, of a good put-down.
© 2005 by Stan Munslow. All rights reserved.
“Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing."
Aristotle
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